Ayahuasca

Me and tiny, cute, and not-at-all-dangerous snake

Ayahuasca

This is a local medicinal plant administered by a shaman during a healing ceremony. The ayahuasca is a liana and the bark is prepared by crushing. It is usually mixed with other plants which have additional properties. Chakruna leaves were mixed with the ayahuasca bark for the preparation that we ingested. Three layers of leaves and bark were prepared to give a session lasting approximately 3 hours. The mixture is then boiled in the same water for several hours. After collecting the plants, it takes about 8 hours to cook over a slow wood-burning fire.

I'm about to describe my experiences, but first, to reassure my parents if nothing else, I should probably add a note here to say that this is a part of the culture here in Perú, or at least in the rainforest. Although it is never taken lightly, it is not seen as being the same as "taking drugs" such as it would be in England. I hope that you find this account interesting and please forgive me if you disagree with the principle here.

Ayahuasca has hallucinogenic properties and has been used for centuries to enter the spirit world. Such journeys are undertaken as a learning or healing process. The shaman still maintains a lot of standing in the local communities. Chakruna compliments the liana by aiding the transition from body to spirit by invoking a light-headed almost dizzy feeling.

My preparation for the evening’s session took most of the day. In the morning I did some research in the forest to ensure my mind was free from anxiety or guilt. I also completed other tasks that I’d been putting off, like washing my clothes. In the afternoon I showered and cleaned my body and meditated to relax for what would be a late night.

The session began just after 9 pm on the 2^nd February 2006 (I’m normally in bed by this time!). There were two tourists, a slightly weird (spaced out and untalkative) Hawaiian Hippie called Mark, a nice French guy, Romwauld, who spoke good Spanish. In addition were Holly, a kiwi friend of Vikki’s, myself, and Richi the tourists’s guide who would also act as an interpreter.

The shaman spoke little English so the session began without any preamble. I was first to drink. A large metal army mug was handed to me and I was advised to drink it in one. It was quite thick and tasted very familiar – like mushrooms or the smell of the forest. The cup was refilled and handed to Holly. The guys, Romwauld, Mark and Richi were given ayahuasca from a different bottle. The shaman’s companion, who was never introduced, also drank, and finally the shaman himself. He then lit a tobacco pipe (Tobacco, I discovered afterwards, is apparently a powerful aid to the transition between the physical and the spirit world). The candles were extinguished. We sat back and waited.

After about twenty minutes, the Hawaiian Hippie went to be sick in the bathroom, closely followed by Richi, who had clearly been feeling strange prior to this. This is a normal and expected reaction and considered to be part of the cleansing of body and spirit. I wondered whether I would go to the bathroom or use the plastic bag which I’d been given.

Twenty minutes later and, other than feeling a little mello, there were few other noticeable effects. The shaman was whistling sub-vocco and this kept intruding on my concentration, although it did at least provide a distraction from the noise of Mark’s vomiting (he was sick many times, poor thing), although each time he returned is assured us that he was fine.

The shaman then began singing, quite a good, traditional chant with indistinct words and a wave-like melody. I tried to incorporate all these noises into my thoughts of the sea. My stomach felt a little strange at times, but I felt no desire to vomit. I did go and pee and felt almost entirely normal. Holly was also feeling quite normal and lucid. It was 10:30, one and a half hours after we started and it seemed clear that we girls had received a much, much weaker dose than those around us. I felt disconnected from the group and wondered why the shaman would split the group in this way. Neither if us girls had been sick, although everyone else had.

Richi the asked Mark if he wanted more. Having just returned from vomiting again, he was fairly adamant that he was good and didn’t need more. I quickly added “yo quiero” and Richi told the shaman that someone else would like some and he asked who “La niña” (the little girl) I replied. I was given a much smaller cup. It tasted much, much stronger than before and I drank it with a couple of pauses whilst asking Holly if she would have more “might as well” she replied. Romwauld also took a second cupful after some hesitation.

This was definitely stronger. It was not long before I began to feel displaced from my body and less aware of my surroundings. The usual images in my mind gained in intensity and hue. My stomach felt a little strange at times, but not to the point of nausea. My hands felt warm and I could feel the ayahuasca in them, changing them. I began to see things that were not normally in my mind.

Snakes. In beautiful, vivid shades of red, yellow, and green. For a time they twisted across my vision. Then I began to wonder if I were not the snake. There was a sense of curiosity and of peace. It would not matter if I were the snake or not.

Holly left to be sick in the bathroom. I thought about it and then decided that I wouldn’t feel sick in a minute when my experience changed and I though of something else or my mind became distracted by a new thing. She came back and said that she was “very good”.

I felt disconnected in time and space, jumping between sequences of thought or feeling. All the senses are changed. The change in vision is perhaps most noticeable. I spent a while watching my hand in the sparse moonlight that filtered into the dark room. My fingers grew long, then short and stubby, then claw-like and then fat again. Occasionally, the only thing in my mind would be the sound of the bird in the forest – how loud and clear its call was! Sometimes, the sound would be the squeak of the floor as my foot shifted. These sounds were immeasurably loud, although not unpleasantly so, simply that they occupied all of my attention.

The whistling of the shaman no longer seemed intrusive, simply a thing that I would focus on from time to time. Although it seemed less frequent that I noticed it, it now seemed much more in keeping with the session. He was also smoking. I found the smell of the tobacco unappealing and when it would encroach into my mind I was reminded of slight feeling of nausea. I wondered if this was not the point of it. Being sick, after all, is supposed to be a part of the process. I still didn’t feel that I was imminently going to be sick, although I wasn’t worried about it; if I did want to vomit, I could just go to the bathroom and it would be fine.

My thoughts feel cyclic or like a spiral in time and space – for a while I would think of one thing – the smell of tobacco – and then another -the way my hands feel when I touch them – and another - the discomfort in my legs – and another - the snakes again –and then another – the clear sound of a bird calling – and another – someone moving would bring me back to the room - and another - the need to move my arm to a new position, and another – the same vision as before, and another – the smell of tobacco –a new bird call – wondering where my hand was – strangely clear visions – a feminine scent; Holly’s shampoo perhaps – needing to move my hand from where it is exerting pressure on my stomach – consciously watching my hand to see the changes in vision…

Gradually my thoughts began to become more continuous. The twitching of my leg in response to a combination of tiredness and discomfort of position became ever more persistent. When I had been noticing it continuously without distraction for sometime, I decided a short walk to the balcony/veranda outside would be the best solution. It was 12:45 am, quite a long time after our anticipated end-time of 12. I told Richi that I would just be outside but he said the shaman didn’t want me to go. A short while later, he announced to the others that we would finish at 1am, and said that I could go outside.

I stood outside and it felt good to stretch my legs. I felt almost entirely lucid, but the vestiges of the medicine were still with me. The moon was just past full and the football field outside, and the forest were bathed in light. Everything was amazingly beautiful. At first I though it was dawn, it was so light. I could see the stars occasionally behind the wisps of cloud. The whine of mosquitos by my ear was probably the only bad thing. I felt relaxed and happy. I could only find joy and goodness in everything I saw.

Thirty minutes later (which passed very fast), I though I should check if Richi hadn’t fallen asleep and forgotten to wake up his tourists and persuade them to go to bed. Holly was also entirely lucid again. The two guys were lying immobile – Mark wrapped in a blanket and fully stretched out, Romwauld curled up and singing softly to himself. At 1:30 we stood up to leave and thanked the maestro, our shaman.

As we walked back to our respective beds, the moon became visible between buildings. It was very beautiful. Despite warnings of chiggers and ants, Mark elected to position himself in the field to watch the moon. Romwauld was very happy. He really enjoyed it although he said the first cup was very strong and the second only minor in comparison. Holly too went off to bed happy. Sweet dreams.

Next morning, we had the opportunity to talk about our visions and experiences with the shaman over breakfast. He said that snakes were very strongly connected with the ayahuasca vines and that is was very usual to see them. Romwauld too had seen snakes – a beautiful boa of the forest. There didn’t seem to be any clear answer as to why I was the only one not too be sick, although he suggested that I was strong (hmmm...). The others also didn’t seem to have the same connections in time and space as I – the strangely cyclic-seeming sequence of sensations tied to a spatial sense – always to my left the feeling of my hand, to the right the birdsong, above and to the right the tobacco… Richi suggested that it was better to try to focus on one thing, but even at the best of times I find that near-impossible. I guess everyone’s mind is different, but I found it fascinating to see a little more how mine works. For all of us however, I think it was a good experience, we all felt happy and were newly amazed by the beauty of the world. A feeling of contentment and peace was with us all the following day. I would have to agree, then, that there is a strong cleansing and healing aspect to this ceremony.